1.  
  2. girlbydefault:

    sidneyia:

    I do not understand people who think they are asexual and then start having sex and liking it but still insist they’re asexual. I do not understand at all. If I ever developed the ability to feel sexual desire I would probably have a massive blowout I’M FINALLY NORMAL!!!! party with like, a petting zoo and shit. 

    I may be wrong about this, but isn’t sexual desire different from sexual attraction?

    I’m going to try to answer this in chunks so bear with me, formatting-wise. 

    Read More

     
  3. Love without Sex

    mild-madness:

    I’m doing a Philosophy paper on Asexuality. Please reblog if you think Love without Sex is possible! I really need the data. Like if you think love has to have sex.

     
  4. Anonymous said: Not that I don't also personally find the a-not-for-allies thing annoying, but what's wrong with asexual awareness week? It is, by all merits, something that people are largely unaware of.

    demisnowflake-deactivated201408:

    I’m just tired of all the cake/donut analogies. Or people bringing up everything under that AVEN spectrum nonsense, like wtfromantic, demiromantic, zucchini, etc. Not to mention it will bring out all the these types of people. 

    image

    (i’m assuming this person literally lives on tumblr) 

    I’ve participated in AAW before and hosted an event for it and everything, and I generally think it’s a very awesome thing and the people who organize it are sweethearts BUT. 

    This year the promo pamphlet art is literally a drawing of BBC Sherlock and Dr. Who hanging out together. And I just can’t. 

    My sexuality is not a fucking fandom guys. Please PLEASE keep that stuff to yourself when you’re purporting to represent an entire sexual orientation. 

     
  5. Anonymous said: Hello, could you please explain how the fuck asexuality works? According to tumblr you can have sex/kinks/etc and still be asexual. I thought asexuals are supposed to stay away from all such stuff?

    fucknointernetignorance:

    Given that I’m not asexual, I can’t give you a decent answer for this. I’ll leave it up to one of our followers to explain it.

    psst: send an ask/reblog/submission

    -Kevin

    Oh yay, I love explaining!

    [content note: TMI ahead]

    Asexual just means you aren’t particularly interested in having sex with other people. You can be completely averse to sex (as I am) or just not care enough to seek it out. People in the latter category can be willing to have sex with a partner because they don’t really have an opinion about sex either way, but they don’t crave it the way non-asexual people do and are just as happy to go without. Asexuality can come with related aversions such as being naked or being touched on the genitals, or not. I know it sounds like there are a lot of different variations being shoved under one umbrella, but when you think about it, all sexual orientations are that way (top vs. bottom, kink vs. vanilla, poly vs. monogamous, etc. etc.). You with me so far?

    Okay, now on to kinks. Yes, a lot of asexual people have kinks and I know that sounds self-contradictory at first, but for most of us, kinks take the place of sex whereas for most non-asexual kinksters, kinks augment the sexual experience. Speaking from my own experience only, my kink is the only thing that provides the kind of stimulation that most people would recognize as sexual, and it has to occur without any kind of genital touching or else that ruins the experience. There are probably some wires crossed somewhere in my brain where I ended up with a “kink drive” instead of a sex drive and it’s very weak compared to most non-asexual people’s sex drives but it’s still unmistakably present, and I’m pretty sure this is a manifestation of my autism. Most other people I’ve talked to who are both kinky and asexual are autism-spectrum as well, so make of that what you will.

    So basically, I call myself asexual because it’s easier (and way less TMI) than saying “I am not interested in having any kind of genital contact with anyone ever, not even my spouse, but I do have this one other thing that  makes me feel tingly inside the way I would imagine [because I have no genuine first-hand experience to go by] that being horny feels, but to a much lesser extent than most non-ace people experience horniness, but it’s still a big enough part of my life to acknowledge and indulge in it”, and because my aversion to/non-participation in sex and sexual culture bears a larger impact on my day-to-day experiences than my kink does. And in my experience, other asexual kinksters tend to describe their situations similarly.

    So if you were able to slog through all that, I hope that helps you understand a little bit better. 

     
  6. bullshit-incorporated:

    thesquidpsychologist:

         Why does the ‘A’ in ‘LGBTQA’ stand for asexual, and not ally? What asexual human being is legitimately bullied, outcasted, and ostracized to the point that they need a safe space among others? Asexuality is just the lack of a sex drive, or a really low one. Why would anyone be bullied for that?

         I can see the point, though, of including them, since it would open up the possibility of meeting others who are like them. I know I would like to talk about it some times.

         But that still doesn’t answer my question of why allies aren’t included.

    Because allies are cishets, and cishets are already accepted by everyone else.

    "Why would anybody be bullied for that?" 

    …this is a joke, right? 

     
  7. image: Download

    heirofmind:

genocidersyooo:

YELLS FURIOUSLYFIRST OFF, HE WASNT “FRIENDZONED” OR WHATEVER THE SHIT YOU WANT TO CALL A GROUP OF PEOPLE YOU ARENT DOWN TO FUCK. HE LOVES HER AND SHE LOVES HIM AND THEYRE DATING AND KISSING AND HUGGING AND CUDDLING AND DOING ALL THAT ROMANTIC SHIT TOGETHER. TELL ME AGAIN HES FRIENDZONED, SHITSKULL?? A RELATIONSHIP ALSO DOES NOT CONSTITUTE GETTING LAID. I WOULD BOLD AND ITLAIC THAT SHIT IF I WASNT ON MOBILE. ANYWAY, BEING ABLE TO SAY YOU ARE DATING SOMEONE DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU WILL ALSO BE ABLE TO SAY THAT YOU FUCK THEM USING VARIOUS BDSM TOYS BECAUSE A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP DOESNT MEAN THERE IS AUTOMATICALLY A SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP. IT IS LIKE HAVING A STRAWBERRY CONE AND HAVING SOMEONE ASK YOU IF THAT SHIT IS BLUEBERRY. BOTH FLAVOURS ARE FRUIT, BUT THEYRE NOT THE GODDAMN SAME, YOU IGNORANT FEDORA-TOTING TWATBAG.TO BRING UP A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT ISSUE, ASEXUALITY =/= AROMANTICATY. YOU CAN BE ASEXUAL AND NOT DTF BUT STILL HAVE A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP. IN SHORT, A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP DOES NOT MEAN DOING THE REPRODUCTION DANCE. GET THIS FUCKING STRAIGHT. JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE IS DATING YOU(for reasons still unknown) DOES NOT REQUIRE THEM TO ALLOW YOU ACCESS TO AN ORIFICE/APPENDAGE SO YOU DONT NEED TO MASTURBATE ANYMORE.

italicized and bolded for convenience.

This isn’t even the worst of it, some PUA blog declared this guy their “beta of the week” because he doesn’t just rape her like a “real man” would, and speculated in graphic detail about the condition of this poor woman’s genitals. (And then the service hosting the blog, I forget which one it was, refused to ask the blogger to tone it down because ~free speech~.) ETA: OH AND I forgot the part where the PUA scumbags said rainbow hair = “asking for it”. 
I don’t know what it is about asexuality that sends mouth-breathers into such a frothing frenzy. 

    heirofmind:

    genocidersyooo:

    YELLS FURIOUSLY
    FIRST OFF, HE WASNT “FRIENDZONED” OR WHATEVER THE SHIT YOU WANT TO CALL A GROUP OF PEOPLE YOU ARENT DOWN TO FUCK. HE LOVES HER AND SHE LOVES HIM AND THEYRE DATING AND KISSING AND HUGGING AND CUDDLING AND DOING ALL THAT ROMANTIC SHIT TOGETHER. TELL ME AGAIN HES FRIENDZONED, SHITSKULL?? A RELATIONSHIP ALSO DOES NOT CONSTITUTE GETTING LAID. I WOULD BOLD AND ITLAIC THAT SHIT IF I WASNT ON MOBILE. ANYWAY, BEING ABLE TO SAY YOU ARE DATING SOMEONE DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU WILL ALSO BE ABLE TO SAY THAT YOU FUCK THEM USING VARIOUS BDSM TOYS BECAUSE A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP DOESNT MEAN THERE IS AUTOMATICALLY A SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP. IT IS LIKE HAVING A STRAWBERRY CONE AND HAVING SOMEONE ASK YOU IF THAT SHIT IS BLUEBERRY. BOTH FLAVOURS ARE FRUIT, BUT THEYRE NOT THE GODDAMN SAME, YOU IGNORANT FEDORA-TOTING TWATBAG.
    TO BRING UP A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT ISSUE, ASEXUALITY =/= AROMANTICATY. YOU CAN BE ASEXUAL AND NOT DTF BUT STILL HAVE A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP.
    IN SHORT, A ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP DOES NOT MEAN DOING THE REPRODUCTION DANCE. GET THIS FUCKING STRAIGHT. JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE IS DATING YOU(for reasons still unknown) DOES NOT REQUIRE THEM TO ALLOW YOU ACCESS TO AN ORIFICE/APPENDAGE SO YOU DONT NEED TO MASTURBATE ANYMORE.

    italicized and bolded for convenience.

    This isn’t even the worst of it, some PUA blog declared this guy their “beta of the week” because he doesn’t just rape her like a “real man” would, and speculated in graphic detail about the condition of this poor woman’s genitals. (And then the service hosting the blog, I forget which one it was, refused to ask the blogger to tone it down because ~free speech~.) ETA: OH AND I forgot the part where the PUA scumbags said rainbow hair = “asking for it”. 

    I don’t know what it is about asexuality that sends mouth-breathers into such a frothing frenzy. 

    (Source: dilwit)

     
  8. 21:16 12th Aug 2013

    Notes: 141

    Reblogged from mentemmortaliatangunt

    Tags: asexualityqueer

    I felt the need to make a post of my own

    misterjmasters:

    Dear Asexual Community,

    Hi, I’m Maggie and I’m a lesbian.  And I love you.  I have lots of friends who are asexual.  I have heard firsthand how difficult being asexual can be.  I have heard about how people always assume you are disordered, inexperienced, afraid or confused as opposed to what you really are, which is simply not sexually attracted to other people.

    I would date an asexual.  I would marry an asexual!  I am 100% capable of never having sex again.  I’m also capable of having it.  I go either way. :3

    But then there’s this umbrella.  Called “queer.”  ”Queer” is a word we re-appropriated.  It used to be a word of hate.  Now it’s a word of love and acceptance and understanding.  Its a word that brings to mind the image of a hand holding out to all those whose identities have been erased, oppressed, denied or scorned.

    We did not take this hateful word away from those who discriminated against us just to use it against another group of people who simply want our love, support and help in coming to accept themselves.

    Queer, to me, should be a word that is acceptable to be used for anyone who ever looked at their sexual identity and thought “Is there something wrong with me?”  Queer is a word that should go out to all those who tried to explain their sexual preferences and were brushed aside or told they were simply going through a phase or they were confused.  Queer is a word that embodies those who have been neglected and abused for who they choose to love and who they choose to have (or not have) sex with.

    Anyone who is unwilling to share this word has “Special Snowflake Syndrome.”  They feel that if heteroromantic asexuals come into the picture and call themselves queer, they are just another group of people they have to share their super special, oh-so-angsty sense of uniqueness because they are part of a group that some people really hate.  They want to be different.  They want to be anti-conformist.  The more people who get into the club, the less they have to brag about in terms of how much of a “rebel” they are for being the way they were born.

    I would say people like this are rare.  I have met very very few LGBTQA+ people who were like this in their behavior.  I have, however, observed many when it comes to this issue.

    The truth of the matter is, a heteroromantic asexual is not hurting you or your label of “queer” anymore than the entire gay community is hurting straight people and their label of “married.”  In both cases, those who don’t want to allow the other group in are just trying to protect something from this group simply because they don’t want them to have it.

    An asexual threatens my status as a “queer” person as much as a gay couple wanting to be married threatens a person who is a “spouse.”

    I find it amazing that those who are opposed to asexuals using the term queer are the same ones who say things like “love is love” and “we want equality” and other pro-lgbtqa+ statements, but then turn around and shoo away our asexual friends.

    No one has once explained to me what harm would come from accepting that the term “queer” does embody asexuals.  If I ask, the issue gets danced around, semantics are tossed about like confetti and things about being hurt or offended come up.

    Here is what is important though:  Some things that are right and just and fair hurt you at first.  When I was a child, my mom giving my brother candy because she’d gotten me some the day before and it was only fair hurt me.  My girlfriend breaking up with me because she didn’t love me anymore and knew it wasn’t right to stay with me hurt me.  Lots of things in this world that are good things have caused me negative feelings when I first encountered them because they were new, foreign, unfamiliar and they seemed, at the time, to be treading upon something I loved.

    What you may feel about asexuals wanting to fit under the warm blanket that is the word “queer” could be hurt, anxiety, uncertainty, offense, annoyance… but NONE of that makes it wrong or unfair.  

    If we really want to claim to be people who are accepting, loving, open minded and welcoming, it is our duty to take in anyone who experiences similar problems as us.  You can play games of who has it worse all day but what it comes down to is that we all bleed.  We all hurt from the same places.  We all struggle.  And we all need someone to lean on and to know that we aren’t alone.

    Asexuals, you are not alone.  I am right here and I love you and I’m super proud to welcome you to call yourself “queer” if it makes you feel better about who and what you are.

    (Source: anightvaleintern)

     
  9. 21:58 18th Apr 2013

    Notes: 50

    Reblogged from azthma

    Tags: asexualityactuallyasexual

    johnssociopathicboyfriend:

    I keep seeing all these posts about what asexuality isn’t but ive never seen one that explains what it actually is can someone like legit just explain to me what it is because im really confused about what being asexual actually means

    It just means you aren’t interested in a sexual relationship with anybody, regardless of their gender. 

    There are a few other caveats - like if you used to be interested in people sexually but aren’t anymore because you’re taking a medication that decreases your libido, for instance, then that’s not the same as being asexual - but basically that’s the gist of it. 

     
  10. 12:44 10th Apr 2013

    Notes: 14

    Reblogged from

    Tags: asexualasexualityactuallyasexual

    actuallyasexual:

    hakeemmartinluthershabazz:

    actuallyasexual:

    If a self described straight individual only has relationships and sex and with the same gender then we think they have issues.

    If a self described gay individual only has relationships and sex and with the opposite gender then we think they have issues.

    If a self described asexual has sex in all their relationships then that is unquestionable so sit down, shut up, and let the sexuals keep talking over you.

    I actually read a post not to long ago that said that someone can totally be gay and have shittons of sex with the opposite gender, be straight and have tons of enthusiastic fucking with the same gender and be ace and have shittons of enthusiastic cummy sex because “IT’S ALL ABOUT WHAT YOU IDENTIFY -YOURSELF- AS” and I kind of wanted to take my pen and jam it into my skull to just end it all. I mean, I’m not ace so I should sit down and stfu but I think I know contradictions where I see them.

    Well sure someone can be gay and have shittons of straight sex and still be gay.

    But they will also have a shitton of issues.

    When it comes to the ace community though you aren’t allowed to say anything when something sounds weird. Gotta keep protecting the sexuals who can’t let go of the label, and the asexuals who think they can’t have love if they don’t conform to sexual standards.

    Damn it, this troll blog talks so much sense.